Eternal Questions

1) Où sont les neiges d'antan?

In the rain gauge, fool! Why do you ask?

2) What goes on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?

A silly, mutant ninja leg-changer.

3) Do you know the way to Sand José?

Why? Does José need sanding, particularly?

4) Why-o, why-o, why-o, did I ever leave Ohio?

I didn't actually, since I've never lived there, but who in his right mind wouldn't?

5) Do you know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane?

Yes. Stay away! He is seventeen days past expiration, and very green and smelly. Might be a good antibiotic, though.

6) Once again, where does it rain?

Anywhere there are upper-atmospheric particulates combined with a clash of fronts of radically different thermal characteristics. Forget that crap about "plains."

7) Why is the sky blue?

The fourth-power frequency dependence of Rayleigh scattering. Duh. (Also, it is nice and calming.)

8) Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?

Biological decomposition accounts for a lot. And then there are all those bands of marauding florists.

9) What do you get if you multiply six times seven?

Cooties.

10) Wer, wenn ich schriee, hoerte mich denn, aus des Engel Ordnungen?

The ones without hearing aids. Get a life, Rilke.

These answers to vacuous questions have been brought to you by the same folks who brought you global economic meltdown. We'll have fun, fun, fun, till your daddy takes the T-bill away!